What Am I Even Doing Here?

I imagine if you are reading this VERY FIRST blog post, you are most likely a very kind relative of mine and I greatly appreciate you taking the time to check in on me.

If you just so happen to not be related to me, you get extra brownie points. Not sure how you will be able to cash them in just yet, but I will let you know.

For those of you know are neither, and are joining me for the very first time in our lives, let me just say, wow. It worked!?

This necessitates a follow-up of, Oh no. It worked. There's no denying it now!

You see, for a very long time I have dreamed of writing for a living. It has been one of those big, scary dreams that I have only told a soul or two for fear that it would elicit the dreaded dispassionate response of someone who loves you, but just can't believe in you.

Friends, that would be a soul-crushing experience that I mostly likely would not have survived.

And yet, here we are. It's a big, scary, overwhelming, exciting, thrilling place to be in, but isn't that what I have been asking for?

I honestly never thought this day would come. In fact, I can't tell which emotion is stronger: dread or excitement.

But Stacey, why a blog? Why now?

Well, I have recently found myself with an excessive amount of free time on my hands and a nagging in my heart. You see, I have had a hard time the last four months trying to find a "grown-up" job. One that actually uses my experience and expertise. However, it seems that I am short on both of those to actually qualify for anything that I want to do. In short, I have found myself in quite the pickle with plenty of time on my hands. What else have I got to lose, other than hours of sleep because once I got started, it's been hard to stop!

In all honesty, though I have wanted this and felt God call me to this, I resisted. Who am I to claim to know anything worth sharing? What right do I have to take up this little corner of the internet? Am I even a decent enough writer, or will I be laughed at and booed off the proverbial stage?

These fears, these lies from the enemy regularly drowned out these words my Heavenly Father has been singing over me the last few year:

I have given you all you need to do as I have called you to.

It took just the right blend of solitude, suffering, and words from an encouraging friend to help me see God's promises as trustworthy. He is a good father, and his love demands my obedience which I have pledged to him. Now I must return faithfulness with faithfulness, grace with trust.

And so, now we are here.

Stacey Lorraine Blog

Faith, Life, Leadership.

Join me on this crazy ride.

xoxo

-S

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